|Irritating Euros with patriotic fervor every day.|
Unlike football, Eurovision is not loved by all Europeans - particularly the British, who have a decades-long history of mocking the contest. In general it doesn't poll well with young heterosexual men from Western European countries who think they're too cool to get into the spectacle, or are afraid showing the slightest hint of interest in the show will infect them with teh ghey. Screw those guys. Eurovision is awesome, and Americans should love it, too.
Here's why Americans should give Eurovision a chance:
1. It's kinda like the Oscars or Grammys, except not boring, no Billy Crystal, and with better outfits. Remember that one year Bjork wore a swan dress? In Eurovision everyone is Bjork every single year all the time, and it's glorious.
2. Despite the fact that Europeans consume all our pop culture just as voraciously (if not more so) than we do, Americans often feel culturally inferior to those fancy-pants Euros. Watching Eurovision will certainly leave many Americans with a smug sense of artistic superiority.
|He's in a suit, so it's classy.|
3. The lingua franca of Eurovision is English. That is, the presenter, jury representatives, and many of the songs are in English. Sometimes in very good English. Sometimes in horribly mangled English. This is funny. It doesn't matter that the vast majority of Americans are shamefully monolingual. It's still funny.
4. It's quite satisfying to have your secret stereotypes about various European countries confirmed vis a vis song and dance numbers.
5. It's educational. Come on, tell me, did you really know that San Marino was a country? I bet you didn't! But if you watch Eurovision you might even be moved to figure out where Azerbaijan is, and how to spell it.
6. It often stirs up actual geopolitical news. This year alone, the girl-girl kiss at the end of Finland's performance prompted Turkey not to air the show, and spurred outraged newspaper headlines in many conservative countries. Also, Russia's Foreign Minister is demanding an investigation into the voting process over what he believes are stolen votes from former Soviet Republic Azerbaijan. Seriously.
7.. This happened: